Caleb Nei Blogs...

Bloom

2011-03-17T08:58:00.002-04:00

Bloom where you're planted. It's not a sentence of limitation. It's a challenge to fulfillment.

-Phil Hodges from Lead Like Jesus

Questions on Art

2010-07-14T23:17:00.005-04:00

What are the questions a Christian should ask of his art?

Here's my list. Answer any of these for 1 point each. Ask different question for 2 points each.

Is it beautiful?
Does it move me?
Can I be moved by something ugly?
Can my neighbor be moved by something that leaves me cold?
What is the artist trying to communicate?
Is there a message behind this art?
Should there be?
Is art without a message better than art with a message?
Or is it the other way around?

What about Christians in art?
If God is the ultimate creator, and we are created in His image, is creativity expected of us?
Is creativity even one of the ways we reflect His image?
Should Christians make better art than non-Christians? (After all, the Spirit of Creator-God lives inside them.)
In Psalm 19, David says, “the heaven’s declare the glory of God…there is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.” In Romans 1, Paul says that creation makes the truth of God clear so that we are “without excuse.” Does the best, most creative, art communicate the truth of God so powerfully that men and women are without excuse?
What about Christian freedom?

How many ways can a work or art be judged?
Does it have intrinsic value?
Do I enjoy it?
Was great skill required it its construction?
Did it come from a truly unique idea?
Is a particular passion/emotion communicated?
Does it tell a story?
Is it holy?
Again, is it beautiful?

What about abstract art?
Is it even art?
Is it Christian?
Wasn’t everything abstract when it was first created, and before we named it?
Am I forced to think about a new piece of art where I might have pre-programed responses to a work I’ve known forever?
Can I find unexpected beauty in something abstract?
Have I forgotten that everything was new once?

A quote from Francis Schaeffer:
Do we understand the freedom that we have under the lordship of Christ and the norms of Scripture? Is the creative part of our life committed to Christ? Christ is the Lord of out whole life and the Christian life should produce not only truth--flaming truth--but also beauty.

In the next month another pastor/friend/mentor of mine, Johnathan Ford, and I are planning on taking a group to visit some art museums in DC. We'll be looking at Christian art and asking questions of everything. Message me if you'd like to go.

It's Everywhere (Here's the game...)

2010-03-17T16:03:00.002-04:00

Just how much have advertisers wormed their way into our lives? How many advertising messages do we see every minute? (Even when we don't think we're being sold to.) From where you're sitting, how many brand names or logo can you see? My answer? 29. From my chair in my office. Without moving my feet.

Gibson
Apple
Yamaha
Georgia-Pacific
Office Max
Staples
Motorola
Girl Scouts
Uniden
Brother
Timex
Rolling Stone
Expo
Valspar
Vaseline
Mr. Coffee
Bounty
DoitBest
L'Chaim
Cuisinart
Suatter's Food Center
Overnight Prints
Propellerhead
Group
Swingline
Boss
Uber S'more
Dixie
Shenandoah Music

What does this mean? I guess it depends or whether your a consumer or a marketer. More than anything I'm curious. How many brand names or recognizable logos can you see from where you are right now?

The rules: 1.) You can't move your feet. You can turn your head, crane your neck, but must stay where you are. 2.) Don't count it if you can't actually see the name or logo. I know I'm wearing Levi's but I can't see the label so I can't count them. 3.) If you see a logo, but don't know what it means you can't count it.

Even being as attentive as I can I not see two brand names that I should have seen when I made the list. Protrend and Alfred. I want to see your list. Go.

Cell Phone Pics for 2009

2010-01-03T00:22:00.005-05:00

Goodbye 2009, hello new year. As we say goodbye, we remember the year past.
This year's top cell phone pictures:
http://www.calebnei.com/2010/cell-phone-pics/

The Prayer of Thomas Merton

2009-08-13T12:37:00.001-04:00

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following
your will does not mean
that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that my desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire
in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton (1915-1968)

McFerrin

2009-08-03T21:01:00.000-04:00

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

Buy this t-shirt!

2009-05-22T14:25:00.002-04:00

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-Three-Wolf-T-Shirt/dp/B000NZW3KC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8
Or at least read the reviews.

Twouble with Twitters.

2009-03-26T17:42:00.002-04:00

Handshake.

2009-02-08T00:20:00.003-05:00

How well do we know God?
John Watson’s book, Psychological Care of Infant and Child, published in 1928, has this advice for parents: Treat children “as though they were young adults… Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit in your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say good night. Shake hands with them in the morning…”

I haven’t read Mr. Watson’s book, but I’m full of questions. What did his kids look like? (Maybe he just had super ugly kids.) How did he keep from kissing them? (Obviously, he’s never seen my kids. Complete strangers find themselves compelled to pucker up and beg for a kiss.) I want to know what a parent was to do when a child skinned her knee, or had a bad dream, or had a pet die or was bullied at school.

I’m pretty sure these are things a firm handshake wouldn’t cure. Seems like these situations require a child to run into arms of love.

Scripture tries to show us the relationship God desires to have with us in many ways. Behold the metaphors: We’re his children. He’s our Master. It’s like a marriage. It’s like being different parts of a body. Jesus is our brother.

The book of James talks about Abraham’s relationship God and calls them friends. In the book of John, Jesus says we can be His friends.

John 15:13-15a
13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends…

Friend of God. Is that a title we could bear? Friendship requires an investment of thought, time and intention.

Our gathering here is more than an item on a checklist. It should involve more than a handshake. It’s a precious moment spent with a friend who knows us deeply. It’s time spent with a friend who cares about our most agonizing wounds and our toughest battles. But this isn’t just a shoulder to cry on or someone to commiserate with. It’s time spent with some who has the answers and can fix the problems. He’s the author of life. His presence transforms us.

[This is a post in a series. For more Calls to Worship see http://calebnei.com/calebnei/come-and-worship/.]

The future of the church.

2009-02-02T18:58:00.005-05:00

It's certainly true that I've thought often about the future of the way many Americans view church and God. I don't have the time to do the thought the justice it deserves. Michael Spencer has thought about it.

http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/my-prediction-the-coming-evangelical-collapse-1

It's sad in a way, because the American evangelical church is all I know. Still, I've observed many of the weaknesses Michael points out. Also, I'm excited because I know God will take us exactly where we need to go. Still...bittersweet...

Come and Worship.

2009-01-28T23:40:00.003-05:00

A Call to Worship
If you're a leader of people (or just need something to think about) I offer this as a collection of preparations for worship. We need to remember who God is, what he has done, and what that means to us. As we gather on Sunday morning (or whenever) it is good for us to focus our hearts and our minds. To that end:

http://calebnei.com/documents/ComeandWorship.pdf

Gotta Serve Somebody.

2009-01-27T22:36:00.004-05:00

Today we begin with the words of Bob Dylan:

Gotta Serve Somebody

You may be an ambassador to England or France, 
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance, 
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world, 
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
 You're gonna have to serve somebody, 
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord 
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

You might be a rock 'n' roll addict prancing on the stage, 
You might have drugs at your command, women in a cage,
 You may be a business man or some high degree thief, 
They may call you Doctor or they may call you Chief

You may be a state trooper, you might be a young Turk, 
You may be the head of some big TV network, 
You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame, 
You may be living in another country under another name

Being a Dylan song, there are four more verses. You get the point. It's the same one Jesus makes in the book of Matthew.

Matthew 26:24
24 No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

I’m told Jesus’ point is less about money and more about the focus of our heart. That brings us to our point: as we begin, let’s pray that God would give us a focused, consistent, authentic hearts.

[This is a post in a series. For more Calls to Worship see http://calebnei.com/calebnei/come-and-worship/.]

A Year in Burritos.

2009-01-14T14:24:00.005-05:00

So I know about Project 365 and all the other "I'm-taking-a-picture-of-myself-each-day" concepts. Forget that stuff. Here's the start of a year's-worth of pictures that really matter:

http://calebnei.com/2009/chipotle/

(Don't bother with all of the comments that I should have a similar page in which I take periodic pictures of my belly...you're really funny.)

Cell phone photos from last year.

2009-01-12T22:50:00.003-05:00

These are my favorite cell phone pictures from last year.

http://calebnei.com/2009/cell-phone-pics/

Whaaaaaaa!

2009-01-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

A letter I found.

2009-01-07T22:06:00.004-05:00

Tonight while finally taking care of one of my many fatherly duties I found this under my daughter's pillow:

Dear Tooth Fairy,

I hear you are suffering from short term memory loss. I'm sorry. May I also remind you that my tooth has remained under my pillow for almost five days, not to mention last time I lost a tooth, that was almost a month so this is just a little reminder so when ever you get the chance Please put money under my pillow. Thanks.

Yours Truly,
Ariel

I don't have time to blog...

2009-01-07T19:23:00.002-05:00

So I'm referring you to a fantastic post by a friend of mind who's an eye doctor.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=317352662&blogID=462116565

Obviously, our government is guessing on this economic fix.

2008-12-02T18:49:00.005-05:00

http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&tab=s338&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:048cdfdf-1b95-4539-86fa-215b066f017d&showPlaylist=true&from=IV2_en-us_Money_News_AmericaInCrisisVideo&fg=gtlv2

Think it's stupid? Apparently, you can write your congressperson here:
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

Phil Keaggy jam.

2008-11-12T09:25:00.004-05:00

Glass Harp JB's Kent, Ohio Jam

I've always been a Phil Keaggy fan.

Obviously.

2008-10-25T19:40:00.002-04:00

Obviously, I've been too busy to do any real blogging lately. 52 Weeks, teaching, playing jazz, Crosslink, Emmaus, Stereoreel, trying to talk my investment advisor brothers off the ledge. Brilliance is in the works. Meanwhile...

Singalong.

2008-10-19T15:37:00.003-04:00

I've always been a Phil Wickham fan...at least every time I saw him live I thought I was. Then, I would go home, listen to one of his albums, and wish it matched the glory of what I had just heard. Here's what the CDs have always lacked: 1.) The intensity of the live show. 2.) The instrumentation of the live shows. (Every time I've seen him live it's just been him and his guitar; the CDs have your standard generic Christian rock band sound.)

These wrongs have been righted with the recent release of Singalong. Best, though. IT'S FREE.

Get it here: philwickham.com/singalong

Yesterday's jam.

2008-09-30T13:55:00.002-04:00

Seth, Dustin and me jammin' a bit yesterday. Can't get this crazy tune out of my head. Look for it as an intro to something someday.

Click here for the growl.

Chipotle radio.

2008-09-29T22:12:00.002-04:00

Chipotle twice in one day! And now I'm home listening to Chipotle Radio. Life is good.

Here it is. (The radio, not a burrito.) Click on 'Launch Radio' and then 'Play'.

52 Weeks.

2008-09-25T21:42:00.001-04:00

My goal: write a song a week for a year.
Awhile back I heard a story on NPR about David Morneau, a composer who undertook the making of a song-a-day for a year.

Here's the story: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92038722.

And here are the compositions.

The story and the following quote by Dennis Báthory-Kitsz were all the inspiration I needed.

I believed that productivity and excellence are not mutually exclusive, nor do they belong to the past alone. I believe that our ability to "be Mozart" (meaning any prolific composer) today is inhibited by lack of demand on our inherent productivity. In other words, the more we do, the better we get at it and the more new ideas we have. Humans are problem solvers, and for composers, it is the blank page that is to be solved.

So that brings us here to you...and me.

52 Weeks
My intent, over the course of the next year, is to write a song a week. Every week. 52 weeks. Will they be good or great? Will they stink? Will I quit after the first month? It's hard to say. Let's find out together.

The details are being sorted. I'm sure they won't be polished songs, but they'll certainly be a great start on the next CD.

Your role is to listen and comment. Let me know what you like and don't. Let me know which songs you think deserve more attention and which deserve being sent to the recycle bin.

I assume the whole project will take the form of a podcast from stereoreel.com. So charge up your iPod and stay tuned.

Favorite cell phone pics of 2008.

2008-09-22T11:10:00.006-04:00

The lo-fi quality of the cell phone lends itself to a certain kind of beauty.

Oh, and I have no idea whose chicken died. Don't even remember taking the photo.
http://calebnei.com/2008/cell-phone-pics/

Crosslink.

2008-09-12T09:12:00.006-04:00

Hey guys! If you're in the Winchester area and have a Facebook account become a fan of Crosslink. Crosslink is a monthly worship service where young adults from across the area get together for worship, prayer, fellowship and Bible study.

Click here to become a Crosslink fan and get more info:

Click here to hear a song I wrote about Crosslink.

And the moral is...

2008-09-09T18:57:00.005-04:00

Today I decided to use my miniature BBQ grill as a fire pit.

I'm a person who likes to have a lot of projects going at the same time. It seems a good solution for someone who doesn't always have the focus to do one thing for hours. Talking on the phone, while eating lunch, while playing ping-pong...you understand.

So today I was spreading mulch, while eating breakfast, while admiring my new bird-feeder post, while organizing my crawl space. (While burning some scraps of wood in my small kettle grill.) From a distance, I took pleasure in the generous flames.

Several times I added fuel to the fire...just to keep it spewing. But aparently my grill wasn't designed to handle even a child-sized bonfire.

The handles began their impersonation of Toht's face in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Have you ever seen handles drip? Fiery, waxy puddles in my drive way. Don't know if I should have forseen this...

I've decided to cancel my plan to breed pumas, lest I experience an unintended consequence.

And the moral is: If you see a sale on grill handles, let me know.

Save Me.

2008-09-02T23:04:00.002-04:00

I posted some recently recorded versions of Stereoreel songs on my MySpace.
myspace.com/calebnei

Don't forget to check out the new Stereoreel album on myspace.com/stereoreel.

Presenting: the CD.

2008-08-25T22:45:00.002-04:00

The new CD is out! We've been working on this thing for years now...I hope the next one doesn't take as song. Just in time to take your mind off the bickering going on between John McCain and Paris Hilton and between Barack and his VP choice. More info coming at stereoreel.com. Or, just get a copy from me next time you see me!

Today's a day for music.

2008-08-13T19:00:00.002-04:00

Right now I'm listening to Jim James' concert at the Newport Folk Festival. So far so good.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93227478

Wilco at a Cubs game!

2008-08-13T14:50:00.000-04:00

Take Five.

2008-08-13T13:19:00.003-04:00

This footage was taken back when the world was all black and white. I miss those days. Brubeck and his boys. My first love when it comes to jazz.

cackle and spatter of
sunlight on a fingerprinted
napkin holder
reminds me that
summer is going
as am I
salt and pepper
the color of my hair
and the sign on the table says
"enjoy it ice cold"

(I'm on my fifth watching and still untired.)

Oh yeah, sign up for the Stereoreel newsletter at stereoreel.com. Thanks and much love.

Crowder Remedy tour coming to the big screen.

2008-08-05T17:33:00.001-04:00

Risk.

2008-08-04T23:37:00.002-04:00

Today my wife accused me of having an addictive personality. Maybe it was all the time I spent here, playing Risk. My resolution for tomorrow: I will not visit addictinggames.com.

At least this is less destructive than some of the addictions I've considered.

I believe.

2008-08-01T20:36:00.001-04:00

in the message of Jesus.
in taking chances.
in the power of place.
in having a home.
in fresh tomatoes.
in Habitat for Humanity.
in the power of words.
in relationships.
in family.
that listening to Mozart (or Wilco) makes a work day pass a little better.
that the high points of Christian (or pre-Christian in one case) are King David, J. S. Bach and David Crowder.
in the inspiration of scripture.
that the Psalms speak to me.
that sky-blue is the perfect color for the sky.
that orange is an okay color for the sky…or brown.
that tornados should be view from a distance.
in Clarke County.
the harder I work, the luckier I get.
that our creativity honors God.
in the power of art.
in the power of music.
in the power of a song.
that when the doctor said to eat an apple a day he was referring to Fujis.
writing haiku will make you notice something new.
that if Christians lived as Christ our world would be different.
if I lived my life like Christ my world would be different.
in the Holy Spirit’s ability to change me.
that Coldplay is overrated, but not as overrated as Rolling Stone Magazine seems to think.
that if the animals could get organized we’d all be in trouble.
that Millwood is the cutest little unincorporated town this side of the Mississippi.
that the crowing of the rooster is a thing of beauty.
that you’re a think of beauty.
that beauty is a think of beautiful.
that there are always unintended consequences.
that one moment can change you forever.
that even the longest journey begins with a step.
that you should take that step.
that fear will destroy you.

A brief update.

2008-07-30T22:03:00.006-04:00

A few words on what's been occupying my time recently.

Settling into the new house
Providing support as my wife has a baby
Writing songs
Writing easy piano music
Making bean soup
Fertilizing my lawn
Making arrangements for shopsheetmusic.com
Playing with my kids
Thinking
Praying
Thinking of buying a new guitar
Making landscape designs

As you may know, I've been working on a CD of original music for the past two years. Finally, the thing is nearing completion. We've decided on a band name (Stereoreel), and I've been spending most Mondays rehearsing with the guys.

But here's where I need your help:
Please sign up for our newsletter at stereoreel.com.
Also, if you have a Facebook account, sign up to be our friend at facebook.com/pages/stereoreel/61224995500. Or join the MySpace frenzy at myspace.com/Stereoreel.

There's another thing: If you have a group we could come play for please let me know. This summer we've played for camps and youth groups. We'd love to do more of that.

Thanks in advance. I love you all.

Jim and Dwight.

2008-07-28T14:14:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7PHL4HXm1o

It's a boy!

2008-07-24T10:56:00.002-04:00

Announcing Isaac Michael Nei, my new son.
View a few more pictures here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=140954&l=bf467&id=559660200

Help My Business Sucks.

2008-07-19T16:25:00.003-04:00

Have something to market online or otherwise? Check out Andrew Lock's site http://helpmybusiness.com/ or subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. Here's a sample show.

Songwriting.

2008-07-19T08:38:00.002-04:00

I'm always interested in new collaborative techniques.

Here's an NPR story on the band/project Telephono. One musician starts with an idea. But, in this case, instead of real collaboration, when musician number two gets the song, musician #1 is done providing input.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92680590

Amusing.

2008-07-14T11:25:00.004-04:00

That's Dustin, me, Seth and Ethan. We like our Macs. Don't know if any of the pictures came out. Dave (the picture-taker) isn't really a photographer... (Obviously, seeing as the workings of the camera aren't something he fully understands.)

Oh, and I should mention...the CD went to mastering and duplicating last week! It REALLY IS COMING SOON.

McDonald's bathroom attendant.

2008-07-09T23:22:00.002-04:00

http://improveverywhere.com/2005/02/13/mcdonald's-bathroom-attendant/

Now this is a good idea. I'm thinking a few friends and I could offer valet parking at Chick-fil-A.

Neighbors.

2008-07-08T12:45:00.003-04:00

(Yes, this is my life right now.)

In case you're visiting Berryville...

2008-07-01T12:48:00.002-04:00

I've been reading the town code. I think you should know what it says about sputum. And I quote:

No person shall spit, expectorate, or deposit any sputum, saliva, mucus, or any form of saliva or sputum upon the floor, stairways, or upon any part of any public building or place where the public assemble, or upon the floor of any part of any public conveyance, or upon any sidewalk abutting on any public street, alley or lane of the town.

Any person violating any provision of this section shall be guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor.

Consider this a simple public service announcement. Don't spit in the alley, boys and girls. Save yourself the $250 fine.

A song a day.

2008-06-30T20:33:00.005-04:00

Today NPR had a story about the composer David Morneau who has written a 60-second piece of music every day for the past year. It's an awesome idea that I might have to borrow. Check out the story at:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92038722

Or spend the next 365 minutes in a state of musical bliss here:

http://60x365.com/

Coffee and iguanas.

2008-06-24T18:20:00.005-04:00

I listen to Rolling Stone Magazine's New Music Report. I noticed something that I find a bit odd. In the last couple of months Christian Hoard has reviewed both the newest Coldplay album and the newest offering by Britney Spears.

And I quote: "Lo and behold, Blackout is a good record," he said referring to to Britney's album.

Again I quote: "I think this record is just okay...it's also a little snoozy and a little sappy," he says of Coldplay's Viva La Vida.

He seems to appreciate Britney's lyrics while finding Chris Martin's predictable.

A sample from Britney's record.

It's been awhile
I know I shouldn't have kept you waiting
But I'm here now

I know it's been awhile but I'm glad you came
And I've been thinking about how you say my name
You got my body spinning like a hurricane
And it feels like you got me going insane

Okay, I've had enough.

Now a sample from Coldplay.

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead, long live the king!"

Uhhhhhhhh. I've had my complaints about Coldplay...but...

I have some theories. Is it possible that on the day Blackout was released Starbucks opened their latest coffee spot in the hallway outside Christian's office. Four caffe lattes later he was dancing around his office with the music turned up to "10."

I know it must be difficult to be a music critic. Every day, a new stack of CDs. The public anxiously waiting the verdict. To buy or not to buy...

Is it possible that on the day Coldplay's album came out on the same day Christian's iguana died? Iguanas often live to be 20 years old. That means Christian could have had this thing since he was eight! No wonder he was in a funk. Twenty years of feeding grapes to the friend under the heat lamp. Twenty years of that triangular head, that ugly tongue. No wonder.

Christian, I'm sorry about your iguana. Please accept my condolences. No one should have to go through that. Oh, and I'm glad you finally get a Starbucks so close by.

Pointless, but cool.

2008-06-18T15:44:00.002-04:00

The MacBook has a motion sensor that lets Apple know if you dropped your computer before choosing whether to honor your warranty claim. Apparently it has other useful benefits.

You play with your superheroes...

2008-06-18T11:33:00.004-04:00

I'll be over here playing with my Bach action figure.

http://www.mcphee.com/items/11507.html

J. S. Bach can take G.I. Joe any day. (After all, fathering 20 children without going crazy requires its own type of heroics.)

Preview a premastered song or two!

2008-05-20T22:11:00.004-04:00

Stereoreel's CD is coming as promised. We're sending the tunes off to get mastered soon. Meanwhile you can hear a premastered version and be our MySpace friend.

myspace.com/stereoreel

Don't you think Waco gets more than it's share of news coverage?

2008-05-20T21:07:00.002-04:00

Today I saw on the national news the story of a man who was arrested for calling 911 when he couldn't get a cab...15 times in a row. The cops who came to arrest him found a cab waiting outside the apartment complex. But that's not my point. My point is "See what meth does to people children!!!"

Just kidding. That's Lori's point. My point is this: WHY WACO AGAIN?

Every couple of months Waco shows up in the news again. Angry mother picketing the president. Check. Older men marrying 15-year-olds. Yeah. A 51 day siege between the FBI and religious nuts. That too. Toddler brings cocaine to daycare. Yup. (Okay, so I didn't see that on the news until I began my extensive research for this post. But...I'm just saying.)

Waco, Why can't you behave like your brothers and sisters? I've heard it said that bigger cities have bigger problems but...I've never heard a peep for Abilene...or Beaumont. And Lubbock? Nearly an angel.

I hate to nag, but why can't you just do something nice for once like Mesquite and name a potato chip?

PS- In the interest of giving credit where it's due, you did give us Dr. Pepper and David Crowder Band. For this we thank you.

Radiowetfreezingtorturehead.

2008-05-12T11:20:00.005-04:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaugh.

Sunday, while being a day of note, in the best possible way, (It's not often Radiohead takes the trouble to play in our neck of the woods), also turned into a thing to endure. I arrived at rainy Nissan Pavilion at 5:30. (After skipping Chipotle for fear of being late...a bad decision...wish I'd have had some sustenance for what I was about to endure.) A cold rain fell while we stood in line for an hour. And continued to fall as we waited for Liars to play song, after song, after song. (Was it really only an hour?) And continued to fall during the required set change. Rain. Radiohead finally emerged to play an amazing set, I'm sure. It's just the by this point my toes, fingers and ears were numb. I tried to jump up and down on my ice-brick feet at one point. Turns out they weren't numb after all.

Oh, did I mention that we were standing in the grassy area behind the covered pavilion all night? Apparently $100 tickets don't rate a seat under the roof when it comes to a Radiohead show.

Good points: I later saw some pictures of the show and saw the Thom was playing the a Hummingbird...good. The lightshow was cool. The restrooms had warm water. The cheesburgers were only $6. Even better, they came in a plastic bag, a nice touch considering the conditions.

More bad points: Traffic is horrible at Nissan. We travelled the couple of miles between the Pavilion and 66 in an hour. We're told we made great time. Taco Bell (Chipotle was closed by this point) messed up my order and I had to go through the drive twice. When I got home the power was out. Cheery!

Good points: I've seen Radiohead.

Another bad point: (Or good point, depending on how sadistic you are.) I'm not the only one who had a rough time:
http://dc.metblogs.com/2008/05/12/radiohead-at-nissan-pavilion-fail/
http://www.mortigitempo.com/too_bored/showthread.php?t=82903
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/i-shafted-779718/

Not only that, but our frends in Mymar, India and other places in the world suffer more every day...so I'm not really complaining. Anyway, I have to go listen to the Nashville Mandolin Ensemble's version of Eleanor Rigby.

Ferrero Rocher.

2008-05-08T16:46:00.002-04:00

What is in this!? Maybe I'm just hungry...or maybe this is a work of culinary art. I'm currently alternating bites between an ordinary Chiquita banana and a quite extraordinary Ferrero Rocher. In the past 6 minutes I've consumed 439.998 calories worth, not including the banana. (Wikipedia claims they're 73 1/3 calories apiece. Do the math.) Banana, chocolate, hazelnut and Nutella. Wow.

For more info on this piece of perfection click here.

Educate yourself on vocal harmonies.

2008-05-07T12:56:00.000-04:00

Respect the machine.

2008-05-06T22:24:00.003-04:00

Okay, so normally James Taylor's music is a bit gentle for me...but anyone who has a drum machine like this earns a bit of my respect.

Okay, I'm on the floor.

2008-04-29T16:38:00.006-04:00

My brother brought this to my attention! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I've always know that microphones where hazardous...but...does anyone know the Heimlich Maneuver.

And on that topic. How would you like to be remembered forever as the inventor of the abdominal thrust. I suppose it could be worse. You could be Benedict Arnold. Or have lent your name to my favorite form of facial hair. (Ambrose E. Burnside.) Or have given your presidential name to the Teddy Bear.

Anyway, back to the Heimlich:

Mental weirdness.

2008-04-28T23:03:00.003-04:00

The other night I had a dream that I was attacked in my car by a midgit in a Pope hat. Please! I don't often (ever) yell in my sleep. This time, I yelled loud enough to wake myself up. Truly frightening.

I'm humbled and thankful.

2008-04-28T11:26:00.005-04:00

I'd like to take this moment to thank whoever left the mower on my front porch yesterday! We have a new house and 1/3 an acre of young, eager grass to keep neat. Apparently someone knew of our need and decided...well, I'm speechless. (No note, no card, just a brand-spanking-new mower.) Have a look at the picture.

Ariel, when we found it, looked up into heaven and yelled, "Thanks, God."

Get a facelift. (I'm thinking about it.)

2008-04-23T22:05:00.006-04:00

For all of you who are unhappy with the way you look...but can't afford a plastic surgeon... Don't worry, I feel your pain. I too, have been dissatisfied with my face. The pointy nose, the weak jaw. Here's the difference between me and you: I have a solution. All you do is whine.

Enough taunting. Here it is: Caleb's budget facelift kit. Click here. (Just print, cut on the dotted lines, and apply with Scotch tape.)

Oh, yeah...a version for you women is in development.

Dustin, this one's for you.

2008-04-23T21:55:00.001-04:00

DeVille. I think I'll call you Camille.

2008-03-25T23:25:00.003-04:00

My tall hair.

2008-03-22T11:54:00.007-04:00

Wife: I can't believe you left the house like that.
Me: Oh, right. My socks are inside out. It was dark when I got up.
Wife: No, your....
Me: Teeth?
Wife: NO.
Me: Odor?
Wife: Stop.
Me: Tomorrow is bath day.
Wife: Hair.
Me: Specifically? I have hair everywhere.
[Though not as much as my old friend Denny. After he took a shower the soap looked like a gerbil.]
Wife: Your head.
Me: It's called a pompadour.
Wife: What?
Me: I happen to like Johnny Bravo. And Elvis. The vamp ramp...Oh, by the way. I'm out of Pomade.
Wife: Get a haircut.
Me: Make me.
Wife: Okay.
Me: HEY!!
Wife:
Me: Didn't your parents ever teach you not to run in the house with scissors!?
Wife: If you weren't running I wouldn't have to.
Me: STOP!
Wife: Hold still.
Me: [whimpering]
Wife: Really. Stop moving.
Me: [crying]

The urge to litter.

2008-03-19T21:40:00.003-04:00

Now my favorite Daily Grind cold coffee comes in a compostable cup. Never have I been so tempted to litter...or eat a cup....just to see.

Tweedy on songwriting.

2008-03-12T21:28:00.003-04:00

Want to write songs? Just like Wilco? Listen to Jeff Tweedy talk about songwriting and more (his band and songwriting).

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19271953

Tennis.

2008-03-11T18:23:00.005-04:00

The four of them
Running around the court
Having the time of their lives
Smiling
Rackets glinting
What are they doing?
I'd like to make their day
By giving them a ball

In this meaningless life of mine...

2008-03-07T08:55:00.001-05:00

Ecclesiastes 7:15-18

In this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these:
a righteous man perishing in his righteousness,
and a wicked man living long in his wickedness.

Do not be overrighteous,
neither be overwise—
why destroy yourself?

Do not be overwicked,
and do not be a fool—
why die before your time?

It is good to grasp the one
and not let go of the other.
The man who fears God will avoid all extremes.

Radiohead is coming to town.

2008-03-05T19:38:00.004-05:00

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Radiohead is coming to town

[I'm sorry for you if you are reading this through some sort of RSS feed. You probably only get to enjoy a few lines of poetry while missing the whole moving picture with sound embedment. (AKA "The Point.")] <--(Note the rather complicated punctuation. I hope it's correct.)

Blog is short for "blunder log."

2008-02-20T15:22:00.006-05:00

Distance from Cleveland, OH to Millwood, VA: 350mi.
Distance from Cleveland, OH to Millwood, VA via Toledo, OH (a simple Right instead of a Left on the Ohio Tollroad): 550mi.

Guess which trip I took yesterday?

Here's a map of my approximate route. Take the time to zoom out a bit and have a gander. I began in Cleveland with the planned destination of Northern Virginia.

Did you know that in blustery conditions the Ohio Turnpike looks exactly the same travelling east from Cleveland as travelling west?

Did you know that the Radiohead album I Might Be Wrong is apparently good enough to distract a person from being able to pay attention to details...like the word "west" on a road sign. (Yeah, I was surprised too.)

Did you know that there are no Chipotles on the Ohio Turnpike? (The ones I saw turned out to be mirages.)

But it all may have been worth hearing this on the radio (the second time I was passing Cleveland): Bowling simply can't be considered a sport. Any activity in which you take in more calories than you expend is not a sport.

Valentine's Day.

2008-02-18T23:07:00.003-05:00

Question: Who is the crazy man on the deck with the flaming pan?

Answer: It's me.

I cooked dinner on Valentine's Day. It's been awhile since I actually cooked anything more complicated that scrambled eggs. It turns out that 20 minutes is a bit too long to preheat a pan. It also turns out that olive oil has a flash point of 600 degrees Fahrenheit. Oh, and the smoke detectors also work fine. And when you're standing on the deck holding a flaming pan, it's hard to make sure the yellow squash isn't burning. We're going to find out if the Pamperd Chef lifetime warranty includes warpage due to husband abuse.

Haiku to a cow.

2008-02-13T18:09:00.002-05:00

Idyllic. That's what I imagined life would be at the new house. Picturesque. Inspiring. And it is all these things, I'm sure. It's also, as it turns out, bovine.

In the morning the cows come to the stone wall to eat. They inspire me. Observe the ways:

cows in the morning
walking across their breakfast
also their bathroom

Or try this one.

cows in the morning
looking over the stone wall
tomorrow’s cookout

Inspiration indeed. Dinner time, so I'm out.

Bass player wanted.

2008-02-13T17:41:00.003-05:00

Hey. Dustin and I are looking for a bass player. If you'd like to join a rock/pop/worship band, (and you're a groovin' bass player) email me or comment back. But remember, as Brian Haley says, "Groove keeps you workin', chops keep you practicing in your basement." So come with the groove. Proximity to Berryville, VA is a definite plus.

Why the King doesn't live.

2008-02-05T18:56:00.001-05:00

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=12506536&blogID=348748251

Winchester Chipotle scheduled to open in June.

2008-02-05T18:40:00.000-05:00

See the email exchange below. Let's start planning the big opening-day trip! I'll be the one dressed as a burrito! (Provided there's no lightning in the forecast.)

From: "Joe Stupp" Add Mobile Alert
To: "Caleb Nei"
We aren’t sure yet, but it should be around the end of June, if all goes according to plan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Caleb Nei [mailto:calebnei@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2008 7:04 AM
To: Joe Stupp
Subject: Re: The Universe Is Expanding.

When is the Chipotle opening in Winchester ???

We're moving! Finally!!!

2008-01-30T13:09:00.000-05:00

The final inspection for our new house is scheduled for Friday morning. If all goes well we'll start moving stuff that evening!!!

If you ever invent a perpetual motion machine...

2008-01-21T18:29:00.000-05:00

Please don't invent one that's capable of building other perpetual motion machines.

Running.

2008-01-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

I often run away from God when I should be running toward him. It’s the craziest thing. I get afraid. No surprise there. The surprise is that a child who is afraid will run to his father. What is wrong with me? Why don’t I run to my father? Don’t I understand? I must not.

Jazz, as I understand it.

2008-01-05T15:32:00.000-05:00

[Jazz], as I understand it, is not music at all. It is merely an irritation of the nerves of hearing, a sensual teasing of the strings of physical passion. Its fault likes not in syncopation, for that is a legitimate device when sparingly used. But ‘jazz’ is an unmitigated cacophony, a combination of disagreeable sounds in complicated discords, a willful ugliness and a deliberate vulgarity.

Professor Henry Van Dyck of Princeton University

A small collection of the best album covers I've ever seen.

2008-01-05T14:46:00.000-05:00

Let these inspire you.

The coolest Christmas present. (Besides Christ, of course.)

2008-01-04T15:00:00.000-05:00

Thanks Rachel!!!

Check out this little thingy that plugs into your guitar and a pair of headphones. Sounds like an AC30- but just to you...your family will love this even more than you do. Bonus: only $40. I've even got mine plugged into the Electro-Harmonix Big Muff that my wife bough me for Christmas. Now I'm rockin'.

http://www.voxamps.co.uk/amplug/#
(Yes Jeremy, you should buy one today.)

Confront the stars and realize that you are not the most important thing in the universe.

2008-01-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

Or, Oh, Yoko?!
Or, Click and Clack laughtrack.
Or, you see the stars and you have to catch your breath.
This year's recommendations.
Or, podcasts worth availing yourself of.

Bono: The Rolling Stone Interview.

Dan Carlin's Hardcore History

Great Speeches in History

John Lennon: The Lost Lennon Tapes

John Lennon: The Rolling Stone Interview

Mars Hill Bible Church

NPR: Car Talk

PRI's Studio 360

Rolling Stone: New Music Tuesdays

I resolve to...

2008-01-01T13:54:00.000-05:00

be nice to fish
to shovel the living room more often
not leave bruises
buy a nice guitar
build a playhouse
keep working on 2005's resolutions.

Yes, we are homeless. (Here's our address.)

2007-12-31T22:32:00.000-05:00

It's a temporary condition. We expect occupancy permits for the new place within a couple of weeks. No, we're not living on the street. We're dividing the next few weeks between several sets of family and friends so as to not damage any friendships beyond repair.

Thanks for caring.

Our new address. (Our mail is going to the new place already.)
90 Cunningham Ln
Box 206
Millwood, VA 22646

Thanks Mary.

2007-12-23T01:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Mary,

Thanks for teaching my son that's it's okay to urinate in the trees. There's a certain boyish freedom there- I remember it well. Being out in the woods at Grandpa's around Gilbert Lake... It's an important thing for a boy to know. I guess I should have taught him myself by now.

I'll not make this a long letter. I'm just writing to make a suggestion. In the future, please mention that the location of the tree matters. Indoor Christmas aren't canditates.

Caleb

PS I'm thankful he didn't electrocute himself.

Download free music here - legally.

2007-12-04T22:40:00.000-05:00

After much slaving Dustin, Keith and I present: It's About (Joy to All the World).

Triumphantly point your browser to http://myspace.com/calebnei.

Download it, upload it, reload it, freeload it, unload it, boatload it, payload it. Commode it if you want.

Writing a song is like...

2007-12-03T21:44:00.000-05:00

playing one hole of golf that's 2000 yards long...maybe. Really, it's like hitting a golf ball around a course that's 2000 yards long and 2000 yards wide...the only catch is that you're not quite sure where the hole is...you just keep hitting the crazy thing around and, eventually, you find the hole (this time it was in a rough patch between a birch tree and an old outhouse).

The mob of attacking Post-It Notes.

2007-11-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

Music lessons pay off in higher earnings.

2007-11-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

Reuters yesterday: study music, make more money. (83 percent of people earning $150,000 or more had a music education.)
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSN1360608420071114
Let me first say, I'll be posting this article on my door. If I can convince my students that studying music isn't just fun (it's an investment) I'll be able to soon double my rates. (Forget about funding your Roth. Give your money to me.)

A couple of questions: Should I be suspicious that the study was funded by the National Association for Music Education? Did they talk to all the guitar players on the street corners of Nashville? Did they talk to anyone trying to make a living as a musician or just guys who played in band in high school?

Maybe they should have titled the article: Music makes a great hobby and if you're smart enough to be a musician but also smart enough to get some other kind of job and do music as a hobby you're probably smart enough to make a lot of money. I'm betting most of the 83 percent making $150K+ weren't musicians.

Grinder pump, a promising sounding name.

2007-11-13T16:51:00.000-05:00

Thank for asking...we're not moving now until January. No, the house isn't done. Yes, we're still working on it. Well, it's basically done except for something called a "grinder pump." Pretty much what is sounds like. Grinds stuff. Sewage specifially. Yeah, it's pretty important to have it before we move in. Nothing like unground sewage...or, more to the point, nothing like unpumped sewage. Habitat says they ordered the pump a month ago. Maybe it's on boat from China. Don't know.

Crowder at the 9:30 Club.

2007-11-13T15:21:00.000-05:00

Cool concert...but... Deafening. Literally. Apparently whoever was running sound has severe hearing loss...or is well on his way. Suggested reading: http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/8841090/music_making_fans_deaf.

It's ironic, as this article points out, that those most reliant on their ears to do their jobs, are the ones at huge risk to damaging their hearing. It's only a matter of time until we start holding clubs responsible for putting their patrons in unsafe environments. I welcome the day. I love to feel my music too but, not at the price of carrying on a normal conversation later in life.

But what kind of concert review is that!? Okay. The concert was great. I've probably seen Crowder eight other times so I got hear all the same jokes this time too. The band seemed to be having a bit of trouble with the monitoring system. I've never seen them look like they were working to hard. That said, I liked all the songs off of Remedy better live than on the album and I liked the stuff from A Collision better than the stuff from Remedy. Got it?

Opening Acts
Phil Wickham is a treat to see. A Singin' guitar player with lots of vibrato...can't beat it.

The Myriad is the next big thing...or so they say.

Friday night's gig.

2007-11-13T15:13:00.000-05:00

The lobby at the Willard Hotel on Pennsylvania Ave.

Increase your vocabulary and feed people.

2007-11-10T22:01:00.000-05:00

You've spent time doing things worth less.

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

Going to the Ozzy show?

2007-11-05T17:45:00.000-05:00

Skip the preshow party if you're not up on your child support.

I find this the most humorous story of the day:
The scene: A fake pre-Ozzy-show party in Fargo. The setup: Everyone with an outstanding arrest warrant gets invited. The result: 40 fewer criminals roaming the streets. The laugh: Ozzy's indignance. The quote of the day: "Sheriff Laney went out of his way to tarnish my reputation by implying that I somehow attract a criminal element."

The full story:
http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/11/02/fargo-sting-operation-has-ozzy-fans-feeling-stung

My mono isn't getting better...it could turn into stereo.

2007-11-04T08:17:00.000-05:00

Using the new Yahoo! Mail?

Click on "Subject" to activate the random subject generator. Here's what I got.
-I know kung fu!
-You're that crazy shark, aren't you? I'm just a dolphin, maam.
-Dang...Probation denied again!
-Waterbeds for Quadrupeds
-Revoking your creative license
-Zero tolerance for lactose intolerance
-Help watering the plastic flowers
-The black crow flies over the sleeping dog at midnight
-The Dreaded Executive Spousal Review
-If I hop in the shower, am I turning into a rabbit?
-Fwd: Re: FW[2]: RE: re: [FWD] joke

Mustaches of the 19th century.

2007-10-31T10:49:00.000-04:00

Mustache, mustache, mustache, mustache. (A strange-looking word.)

Until now, I've been one to keep a relatively clean philtrum- I've certainly never granted it out-of-proportion adornment.

Exhibit 1 in the case for the handlebar (or even the soupstrainer):
http://mustachesofthenineteenthcentury.blogspot.com/

Apologies for all the pictures.

2007-10-31T01:01:00.000-04:00

Sorry the sudden post of all the pictures. Hope you weren't overwhelmed. Tonight I figured out how to get photos off my camera phone. Now I can sleep well.

Wife.

2007-10-31T00:59:00.000-04:00

Masque.

2007-10-31T00:56:00.000-04:00

David.

2007-10-31T00:53:00.000-04:00

Stamps.

2007-10-31T00:52:00.001-04:00

Son.

2007-10-31T00:52:00.000-04:00

Kitchen.

2007-10-31T00:51:00.000-04:00